TheCharlie.com

Some Thoughts on Cindy Sheehan

2008-10-13T20:23:00.000-07:00

So I was at home enjoying my Saturday evening by getting caught up on a week's worth of TV, and at 10:30 PM, the home phone rang. For those of you who don't know me well, nobody calls my home phone except my parents when they're frantic about reaching me, which is usually in the case of a dire emergency. Needless to say, I had a moment of fear as I approached the ringing phone and picked it up.

Out the other end, who should it be but Cindy Sheehan, (she says you might have heard of her as the "Peace Mom." She's running for Congress. She told me, via recorded message that I should vote for her. I immediately hung up the phone, slightly enraged, and looked her up on the Internet. I found a contact email and wrote this:

From: Charlie
To: contact@cindyforcongress.org
Sent: Oct 11, 2008 10:55 PM
Subject: Really?

Hi Cindy.

You just called me from an autodialer. It's nearly 11pm on Saturday night. I was enjoying my evening, but then the phone rang. Nobody calls my home phone unless it's an emergency, so I figured I'd get up and answer it. It was the autodialer. I couldn't be more mad.

Your tactics are ridiculous, and you won't receive my vote.

Charlie Kaupp

PS - Don't add me to your mailing list.

I got this response, which actually came from a Blackberry, as identified by the automatically generated footer:

From: dede@cindyforcongress.org
Date: October 11, 2008 10:56:39 PM PDT
To: Charlie
Subject: Re: Really?
Reply-To: dede@cindyforcongress.org

We are very sorry. None of these calls were to go out until monday morning.

Dede

Now, that's nice, but as I said in my original email, "really?!"

So, after cooling down, one of the things that crossed my mind was that she's a lot like Sarah Palin in her complete lack of experience. She hasn't ever served in any kind of public office as far as I know. She is on a mission, which is notable. It's not a mission to make the world a better place or anything though. She's on the mission of a mother. Mothers will stop at nothing to ensure that their children are protected, and if something should happen to the spawn, the mother will go to great lengths for revenge. Cindy Sheehan is running for office out of revenge.

You know all those comparisons about Obama vs. McCain and Biden vs. Palin and how you should choose the team that's qualified to take on the job? Well, the same goes for every race. Don't vote for someone with zero experience to take a job they're applying for because of all the wrong reasons.

Bay to Breakers

2008-05-18T21:50:00.000-07:00

So I had my first Bay to Breakers experience today. It's weird because I've lived here for six years now, and have been a Bay Area(ish) native for most of my life, and I've pretty much avoided the B2B like the plague. If you don't know what it is, you're living in a hole, but for my hole-dwelling readers, it's basically a foot race that starts downtown by the bay and goes essentially straight across town and ends at the ocean (Breakers). The catch is that people dress up funny-like and have big carts with kegs and loud music on them. It's like one big drunken walk across the city. Mandy and I decided to enter and actually run it this year, because we're trying to train to run a marathon in a few months. We rocked. We both accomplished our individual goals - Mandy finished without killing herself (and with minimal walking), and I finished in the top 10,000 runners. Now, this may seem silly, but in a pool of 60,000-70,000 runners, that ain't half bad. My results:

12k (7.5ish miles) in 1:18:51 (1 mile pace of 10:35)

Finished 6,629th overall, 4,608th of all the men, and 1,117th in my age group

Because I finished in the top 10,000, my name will be in the "paper" (The Examiner) on Monday. I've had worse honors, and all in all, it was a really fun day. Lessons for next time: line up at the starting line earlier (we didn't actually cross the start line until 30 minutes after the gun), and eat something less gross for breakfast. Also bring a sweatshirt for the end because it's cold.

In other news, I still have my job, so that's pretty cool.

Motorcycle!

2008-04-27T20:56:00.000-07:00

Well, my huge readership probably doesn't realize it, but I got a new motorcycle awhile back. It's a 1978 Honda CB400, also known as the Hawk II. This would be the first of the Honda Hawks as they were so called, and would evolve into the various other Hawks (Super Hawk, Nighthawk, and Hawk GT). So, as usual, I've decided to buy a vehicle that's an early version of something modern that actually works.

I did some work on it today though, for the first time since I bought it. I pulled the seat, tank, and side covers off so it was pretty bare and I could have easy (i.e. possible) access to some of the inner workings. It needs some work. There's more work to be done to make it run smoothly and look and feel exactly the way I want it to, but here's what I did today:

Changed engine oil and oil filter, cleaned drain plug and oil filter cover
Replaced speedometer cable (don't drive when you have a disc brake lock on)
Cleaned air filter and air box
Adjusted cam chain tension
Adjusted drive chain tension
Cleaned and lubricated drive chain
Torqued cylinder head bolts
Gapped spark plugs

Then, as it got dark, I realized that I had quite a bit more work to do (valves, carb adjustments), so I reassembled and parked it. I noticed some other things that are causing problems. Namely, the valve cover gasket is chewed up because someone reinstalled it instead of replacing it last time it was apart. It drips oil out the front of the engine and onto the exhaust, which causes nice black smoke. At least I know where it's coming from now. At any rate, here's what I have to do next:

Valve adjustment
Valve cover gasket replacement
Carb rebuild (disassemble, clean, reassemble)
Fuel line replacement
Master cylinder check, brake system clean and adjustment
Clean engine, check for leaks

And I've got a whole slew of stuff that I want to do once the thing is running smoothly:

Replace rear turn signal mounts with something a little cooler looking
Replace front headlight bracket
Replace front turn signal mounts with something less rusty
Replace rear suspension
Pop out dents on the gas tank
Either: polish, polish, and polish some more or paint the tank and side covers. I think that a custom paint job might be cool. I kind of like black with a white racing stripe, but we'll see if that ever actually happens.

I think that's a good summary of where I am now with this project. Good times.

Been Awhile

2008-02-28T10:41:00.000-08:00

Yes, so it's been an awfully long time since I posted anything. I'm sorry. Things are going well: I still have a job in linguistics/legal services at H5. I'm not really bored at it, which is nice. I spend more and more time doing the band thing, and I think we're actually getting pretty good. We've been writing more songs and we seem to be more cohesive as a group now. I think lots of practice will help there. I'm taking a voice class, and it has a noticeable effect on my singing abilities. I warm up before I sing now, and I control my voice a lot more while singing, so I'm not getting hoarse and losing my voice after a show.

I think I might start posting a little more. This thing serves as a public diary, and I want the world to know how I feel. Because the world cares.

This is why I'm upset.

2007-06-07T10:11:00.000-07:00

It's been a ton of time since I wrote something here, and I have a lot of things that have upset me recently, but this one takes the cake for today:

Some asshole coworker made a pot of vanilla hazelnut coffee that made every subsequent coffee pot taste like vomit. My coffee sucks this morning. I mean, the coffee's been sitting there for like 3 months, so it's stale anyway. It tastes like fuck. It's just plain gross. And we have this shared coffee pot that means that any grounds the hot water is run through will now taste like vanilla hazelnut, until someone has the sense to wash (with soap and boiling water) the basket and run some plain hot water through to disinfect it, we will be drinking disgusting coffee.

And this is why I'm upset this fine Thursday morning.

Some Sad Things I Saw In Vegas That I Just Now Remembered

2006-03-15T17:15:00.000-08:00

I forgot to share these things, but today in a moment of boredom, I realized that I wanted to, so here they are.

Thing One: We went dancing at this place called "Rum Jungle." They had about 300 kinds of rum for drinking, which was interesting, as the bottles spanned two stories of bar-back shelves. The dancing was OK, but the music could've been a little better. None of this is sad yet... but don't fret. It's coming. Vegas is full of hot (attractive) people, and a dance club with booze and music on a Saturday night is even moreso, with one notable exception. There was this one really really really fat guy... like really fat. A doctor might call him morbidly obese. He was well dressed, just like everyone else in the club, and seemed happy. He was with a very attractive, thin, blonde, big-breasted, whatever kind of chick. Now, what makes me sad is that she was probably a rental, which is sad that the guy is so huge that girls won't talk to him. But here's two possible reasons why it shouldn't make me sad:

He was enjoying himself, and if she truly was a rental, she was getting paid, and even better, getting paid to go out dancing and drinking.
He was enjoying himself, and if she wasn't a rental after all, she really loves the guy, and they're a happy couple.

So, you ask yourself, why should that last bit make me sad? Well, because the initial thoughts I had that she's a rental and the poor guy has to buy sex and a date. If that's not the case, then I'm sad because I assumed wrong.

Thing Two: I was taking a leak, and I actually saw a guy empty a bag full of pee into a urinal. I had seen this in movies before, and conceptually I know that it's something people with different conditions must deal with every day, but I hadn't ever seen it in real life until I was in Vegas. That didn't really make me sad, but it was interesting.

I can't think of the others right now, but all in all, it's a depressing place, and I can't wait to go back!

V-Day!

2006-02-15T10:29:00.000-08:00

Well Valentine's Day was kind of stupid. We were going to get a haircut, but then we were locked out of our house until about 8:30 and so we didn't get the message that Anthony was sick and couldn't cut our hair. So, while waiting for the keys to come home, we had a nice romantic pancake and egg breakfast at Cafe Neon. Talk about lame.

Then, we romantically watched CSI until midnight. Totally rad.

Vegas Baby... Vegas

2006-02-14T09:44:00.000-08:00

So we made it back in one piece, but not for a lack of trying not to. The trip was good fun, busy, tiring, alcoholic, gambloric (of or pertaining to Gamblor, the demon of the slot machine), relaxing, and exciting. Here's a recap of exciting events:

We left work at about 4pm, left San Francisco at about 5pm. Now, for those of you who have never driven from San Francisco to Las Vegas, it's about 10 hours without stopping. With stopping, it's about 12 hours. We stopped in Los Altos to pick up friends, and made it all the way to Gilroy for dinner. Outcome: Chili's pretty much sucks.

Off from Chili's down 152. We almost ran out of gas and I coasted the car to the bottom of the hill past the dam for gas. Than on to 5 and whatever else down the valley, and we made it eventually to Bakersfield, where I said we should stop for the night (it was about 12 then). We kept going to Tehachapi where we got gas and I got a second wind, and there were trains. We made it to Barstow, where there are no hotels, then past Barstow where there was 1 and it was full. Derek took the wheel from there to Vegas, where we arrived at about 5am.

We were pretty tired by that point, but the good people at the Monte Carlo let us check in at 9am, so it was like we got 3 nights for the price of 2 (which was still pretty expensive). We slept until noonish, gambled a bit, ate some food, gambled a bit more, and had dinner eventually. Beyond that, we lost track of which day it was, gambled a bit more, and went to this club at the Mandalay Bay called rumjungle. That was pretty fun. Mandy got drunk on this one drink that was basically 151 in a pint glass. Then we danced and crashed at around 2 at the hotel.

The next day (Sunday I guess), we gambled a bit, explored the north strip, and had some emotions. We had Mexican for dinner, which was OK. All in all, the food we had in Vegas was not exceptional, especially when compared to San Francisco's food. We tried to go to the Coke museum, but we found out it was closed forever, so I cried a little, and Mandy did too because she was really excited to take me there. Fuckers at Coke didn't understand that one bit.

We went to sleep and woke up pretty early Monday morning to head for the spa at our hotel, which was awesome. When I grow up, I'm going to have a shower with 3 heads. And a steam room. After that, we checked out of the hotel from our TV (which was magical), and we put our crap in the car, then went to NY, NY to ride the roller coaster there, which was cool. Then, a buffet lunch back at our hotel, which was OK (see above on food in Las Vegas), but I did steal 2 cookies. Then, on the road at around 1:30 or so for home.

The trip home was largely uneventful, except that we made it back to San Francisco in about 9 hours, which is pretty good considering we stopped in Los Altos to drop people off. We watched CSI (haha), and we went to bed.

Case Sensitivity is Stupid

2006-02-03T09:57:00.000-08:00

You heard me. Case sensitivity in the computar machiene is totally lame. Mostly with passwords. But the nice thing about this piece of shit windows box I have to use is that it warns you if caps lock is on when you're going to type a password in, so I guess that's pretty cool. But still, I stand by my claim.

In other news. Mandy's on a jury, so we'll be poor for the next month and a half. I'm still working, and I'm still happy with the job. I'm almost cut off from (blown off by?) the Mann as I continue to hint that I don't want to work there anymore. What's it been... like 3 months now? Why haven't they hired a new programmer? I continue to gripe about things that are out of my control. The band is happening, but not gigging (or really practicing all that much either), so that's a little boring. But in more fun news, we're off to Vegas next weekend. That should be fun, especially with our halved income and all.

I guess I never shared my new year's pictures. I got shot in the freaking eye with a cork 2 seconds before midnight, so that was fun. I'm surprised I never posted about that, except that life has been hectic, so I guess I lied. I'm not that surprised at all.

Happy Birthday Jesus!

2005-12-21T22:20:00.000-08:00

I have a lot of thoughts I'd like to share with the world. For instance, do you like my new layout? I'll be adding sections for the music and writings and photos later... I think I'm going to build them with blogger blogs because it's easy to add stuff to them, and I just don't have the time and energy to update HTML all day.

So what's new... well, my new life (see post below) is keeping me busy for many hours every day, which is good. I really enjoy my work. I'd tell you more, but then I'd have to kill you. Seriously. The confidentiality level at the company is basically super-secret because we work on active litigation, so it would violate the lawyer-client relationship, and I don't want to do that. Also, if I get fired, I'll have to go back to work doing database programming, which I can't get enough of not doing.

What else. Well, it's the holidays, so we must all wish Jesus a happy birthday, and celebrate whatever it is the Jews and other non-Christians celebrate this time of year. Oh wait, all the other holidays just happen to coincide in timing with Christmas so we can go out into the world and buy crap nobody actually needs. I think we've spent a pretty penny and I don't know if anyone is going to like what we got for them. That's OK though, because it's not even about what religion you choose to be, or how you spend time with your friends and families, but how many dollars worth you love each person on your list. I love you $39.78 worth, but I love this other guy $46.30 worth. You're like $7 less loved! hahahahha! Suckers.

So what else... we're having a killer new year's party. It's put on by the party monkey. I'm sure I'll have pictures to share with everyone soon.

And in other news. I can't get over just how rude people on the bus are. This old guy got on, and none of the strapping young people in the front would get up to let him sit down. They just pretended they didn't notice him. This made us mad, so we openly criticized them (read: called them assholes). Eventually some bitch got up and the guy sat down, but shit man.

I'm tired of writing. I'll write more tomorrow when I'm bored at work or something, as if that ever happens.

A New Life

2005-11-07T08:53:00.000-08:00

Remember that Everclear song, "I Will Buy You A New Life," or something like that? Well, I have a new life, and I didn't even purchase it directly. I went to school directly out of high school and pursued a degree in computer engineering. 3 years into that, I realized, what the fuck was I thinking? I don't want to devote my life to memory and CPUs and operating systems. I am no longer interesting at parties. I have nothing to talk about with my family and friends. So, I struggled with changing my major to something else. I eventually changed to linguistics.

2 years later, I had finished that BA degree a better person. Ready to conquer the world, I started working at my (then) current job full time, with medical and dental benefits and the whole lot. I figured I would work there for the summer, or maybe until the end of the year, and during that time I would look for a job in linguistics. Little did I know, no such job existed, especially in Santa Cruz. So, I changed career paths again, and decided I wanted to teach high school English. Well, they weren't hiring substitutes in Santa Cruz county at that point either.

What to do? I was doing web design with a degree in linguistics, and a burning itch to do what my passion was (no, not blow. linguistics.) So, I applied and enrolled in a 2 year MA program at SF State, which was pretty alright. I was a little bored the first semester, but as I started taking graduate classes with good professors, I finally found my true passion, which was a narrow sub-branch of linguistics known as discourse analysis, wich some focus on sociolinguistics.

But, after graduating, I resumed my job as a database and IT guy, full time, with benefits. I realized after briefly looking for work that I was destined to do IT forever. I do it for my friends, my family, my own house, and it manages to pay the bills also. Too bad I actually didn't like it that much. Too bad I spent 7 years in school to better myself and land an excellent job in linguistics. Too bad indeed!

So a couple weeks ago, a friend from SFSU contacted me and told me I should apply at this one place she works, which does discourse analysis of documents. I thought, too good to be true? Nay. I applied, was offered a job, and took it. I quit my job in IT (much to the dismay of my coworkers and boss, but you gotta take an opportunity like this... and at a pay and benefits raise to boot!), and I start my new life tomorrow. So I guess I didn't really purchase my new life, but I did spend a lot of time and money getting my education, so that kind of counts, right? I'm pretty excited.

Big fat oops!

2005-10-19T13:52:00.000-07:00

So here's a funny story. I was just sitting around, minding my own business, when I get a new email at my gmail account. It said something like "I was just killing time playing with email, and I managed to put us all into a group! So reply and let me know you got it!"

This was from someone I don't know. My gmail address was addressed to someone named Charlene. So, being the good citizen I am, I replied to the sender (not the whole group), and said, "Hi, I'm not Charlene... so you should probably remove my email from your group." So she replied to me (and the whole group) saying, "Everyone, we need to try to get Charlene's email address, because I think we have the wrong one." To which Charlene replied, "Here it is."

So the totally retarded thing about this was that I replied to all these people, the actual Charlene included, saying that I don't really want to participate in their groups, even though they're probably swell folks, and to remove me please.

They commented that a nice gentleman doesn't want to be on their list and to get me off of there.

I looked back at the first post and noticed that there were two Charlenes. One was my address. One was something else. I think they had the right one all along. Question is, how did mine end up in there???

I think I'm going to start writing more.

The Real World comes to Berkeley!

2005-10-10T11:05:00.000-07:00

So, this blog entry on sfgate.com announces a casting call for The Real World, MTV's awful reality show that basically defined the reality show genre. What strikes me as odd here is what the casting coordinator, Tony Miros, says about who should audition. Here are quotes from this fellow:

"You know the type of person -- maybe you have a friend like this -- who just doesn't know how to shut up"

"I'm not going to lie to you, we live in a world where good looks help you to get ahead"

"But mainly, it's the personality that counts, the type of person they are."

So they want hot people, with good personalities... and then:

"It's all about getting people that are unique and different."

So basically, they want hot people, who are unique and different (oxymoron number one), with good personalities (number two) between the ages of 18-24 (and number three). I don't think these people exist. Why not just cast for bitches with nice asses and boobs and man-whores with good arms and chests with no life to speak of and no good stories to tell? Why not just cast Marina bitches? That's what they want, isn't it?

And if you think I'm upset because I'm not going to be cast for the role, I'm a few years too old. They don't want grandpas on MTV, except Kurt Loder.

French

2005-09-30T17:04:00.000-07:00

My former professor from UC Santa Cruz Geoff Pullum has nothing but lovely words for the French in this article posted on language log.

And I couldn't agree with him more.

The 10 Richest Fuckers in America

2005-09-23T09:44:00.000-07:00

So the list of 400 or whatever richest fuckers in America showed up in Forbes, and then in the more accessible San Francisco Chronicle today. The top few are obvious: Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Paul Allen, Michael Dell, and Larry Ellison. Big software/hardware and investment tycoons. I mean, Bill Gates alone is worth $51 billion. Do you have any idea how much money that actually is? Here, let me write it in a more standard way: $51,000,000,000. Most people have a mere nano-fraction of that in their account now.

Anyway, so what makes me a little freaked out about it is the bottom 5 on the top 10 (I didn't see the whole list, but I bet it goes on like this): Christy Walton, Jim Walton, Robson Walton, Alice Walton, and Helen Walton. Have you ever heard of these people? Well, I haven't, but something strikes me as funny about the names... could they be part of the same family? Well, yes. It turns out they made their $15 billion or so each with Wal-Mart stores.

Now, the thing about Larry Ellison and Steve Jobs and yes, even Bill Gates is that when they hire people to make them richer, they pay these people well. The software/hardware guys managed to get rich despite paying many people hundreds of thousands of dollars (each) per year. The Wal-Mart fuckers got rich by fucking their employees.

What a swell place we live in. Oh, and goodbye gulf coast. We will miss you.

The War At Home

2005-09-19T09:22:00.000-07:00

SUCKS! That's pretty much it. This show is almost the worst show on TV. Normally, when a show is bad (American Dad, later Simpsons, etc.), I can actually sit through it, and occasionally laugh a little bit. But, The War At Home didn't even make me chuckle, and we had to stand up and turn off the TV half way through the first episode last week. This review sums it up nicely.

Know what makes me sad?

2005-09-16T10:27:00.000-07:00

Every once in a great while (meaning once every few days), I see a grown man or woman on a scooter. No, I don't mean the kind of scooter that I (and mods) ride. Those are acceptable. The ones I mean are those razor scooters or similar, with the range of possibilities going from little metal ones to big wood-decked gas-powered ones (like the thugs in the neighborhood ride, 'cause the gov'mint took they car, or some such thing). Anyway, it makes me sad, because these grown, non-thug humans are riding these things down the sidewalk and stuff, in business attire, on their way to and from work. Sigh.

Weird

2005-08-18T11:43:00.000-07:00

So I'm sitting here enjoying my morning when I get an email notifying me that I have a comment on here. Shocked (nobody comments... boo hoo), I investigated. It turned out to be spam, in the form of a comment on a blog. That's freaking retarded, and I think that if it keeps up, I'm going to just give up and remove myself from the internet for good.

In other news, Mandy and I are moving soon. We found an excellent 2 bedroom apartment with a garage, a dishwasher, lots of cupboard space, a big closet, a small balcony, and a bathroom with a tub and a sink big enough to put things on. It's pretty much everything we've ever dreamed of. And to top it off, we actually live near two friends: Sera and Ed. Granted, we used to live almost as close to Ed, just in the other direction. Sera, on the other hand, is across the street.

In still other news, my birthday is this month, and I don't really care. I'll throw a wild party, yes, but I'm mostly uninterested in celebrating. August is irritating to me because there are like 16 birthdays and therefore like 16 parties that we have to attend. By the time mine rolls around, it's practically September and I mostly wish I was dead. Mostly.

I wanted to add this, because of a post on Sera's site that reminded me that the Western Addition is the deadliest neighborhood in the city (SF Chronicle, 8/5/05)

A Few General Observations

2005-08-12T17:23:00.000-07:00

Well, now that I'm back from Mexico, I've had some time to think about things regarding (and not regarding) the trip. I have compiled, for your reading pleasure, a small list of general observations I've made recently.

I spent just over three weeks living exclusively in a tiny, somewhat remote village in the mountains of Oaxaca, Mexico. A truly beautiful location. If you are ever given an opportunity to travel in Mexico, I recommend Oaxaca. Now, this being a remote village, they do not usually get a lot of the modern conveniences of metropolitan Mexico (not that that's great either). These lacking conveniences include toilets you can put paper into, toilets that flush when you push the handle, toilets with seats, bathrooms with minimal amounts of bugs (scorpions, spiders, flies, mosquitoes, beetles, centipedes, millipedes, and occasionally, a chicken), and bathrooms with devices to prevent leaking sewage. Now, the observation I would like to make here is that the bathrooms at Houston George Bush Intercontinental Airport are more filthy (and generally more unacceptable) than those in the village in Mexico.
Continental airlines, while severely fucking a number of my friends on previous flights, treated me very well.
Some little kid who coughed a lot got me sick.
It's Friday and I'm going home. G'nite!

Well...

2005-07-30T13:00:00.000-07:00

Í'm still alive. Not really sick anymore either. Only 1 week to go.

Guess where I am?

2005-07-23T14:21:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone. I am here safely in Oaxaca, living it up in a DSL-equipped internet cafe. So I arrived safely, settled into my house, and proceeded to analyze language. It's pretty fun work, but it's hard. We're busy almost all the time. When we have free time, we go on walks or come into Oaxaca City (we're living in a tiny village called Teotitlan del Valle) to use the internet. Like I'm doing now.

We lasted longer than last year as far as getting sick. Two of us got sick (myself included) on Thursday, but we're better now. The food is fabulous, the people are excellent like always, and the tapetes are calling my name. I'll probably purchase a couple from the people I'm living with.

Also, I tried homemade mezcal, and it didn't suck like mezcal usually does. I'll be bringing a bottle of that back for all you work people, because I promised.

Anyway, I'll keep in touch, but in the meantime, here's a little of what it's like here.

I'm off to Mexico

2005-07-15T14:23:00.000-07:00

So I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back a-gain (3 weeks). I leave tomorrow morning from Oakland on air-shitty and I come back on August 7 on the same airline. I get in late, so no plans that weekend. It will be a lovely trip, and hopefully I won't get explosive bloody diarrhea. I'll be posting periodic updates here, and hopefully I'll be putting pictures of the trip on here, but I'm not positive. It all depends on how secure the computer labs are with their software (and how much Spanish Windows ME I can wade through).

Anyway... have a nice 3 weeks without me!

I just remembered this

2005-07-08T17:02:00.000-07:00

The Goth Shop. I just remembered that this existed. The best line ever: "Circular, domelike case reminds us that Jesus is a lie."

Good stuff.

"gasms for men"

2005-07-07T08:51:00.000-07:00

Yes, that's what the subject of a recent email was. It was for one of those herbal supplements that makes you shoot more of your... y'know.... stuff. The reason I'm posting this is because one particular "testimonial" caught my eye. It says this:

Geoffrey ---- 47, Male, UK
What you claim is wrong. My sperm volume didn't 
increase by 500%. It increased by ZILLION %

ZILLION %, thank god. Go Geoffrey!

Backgammon.

2005-07-02T11:51:00.000-07:00

So as most of you (I mean both of you) know, I fancy a game of backgammon now and then. So because Mandy's not around to play right now, I've been playing on Yahoo Games a little excessively. I've been able to categorize the people who play there based on trends in the time of day that I play (which this week has been most hours).

Late at night (like after 1am), the Turks and other assorted middle easterners come on and play. Now, they speak the English most of the time, and are incredibly bitchy about their game. If they win, they gloat, and if they lose they quit. I think it's because the first backgammon board was pulled out of the sand or something out there (not racist).

Come the morning, it seems to change. We get the Americans, but they're all under the age of about 16. This is odd, considering backgammon is boring for most children. Now, these annoying little fuckers are aggressive about the way they play and almost always lose.

Throughout the evening though (no, I don't play at work), it's adult Americans and Europeans who are just waking up or who are up way too late. The Americans are probably the worst. They love to chat it up about boring shit. Honestly people, I don't give two shits about your personal lives. Small talk is the weapon of choice on these games, and it is so freaking boring. "So, what do you do?" "I'm an IT guy" "Oh, that sounds neat" "What about you?" "I'm an accountant" "Wow, that's super-exciting," and then the conversation dies.

I think my absolute favorite part of all this though is when people say that it's neat that I'm an IT guy.

Thank god Mandy comes home tonight. I can finally get my life back to normal and start sleeping!